| When
Race Becomes Real - A Retrospective
by Bob
Lowe
November 10, 2005
Bernestine
Singley returned to Appleton Tuesday for the first
time in more than 34 years. After she graduated from
Lawrence University in 1971, she vowed she would
never return to the city that left her "racially
traumatized."
Singley
went on to graduate from Harvard University Law School
and served as an assistant attorney general in charge
of civil rights in Massachusetts and consumer protection
in Texas. She then joined one of the nation’s
top design engineering firms which oversaw the structural
design for the new Chicago White Sox stadium, U. S.
Cellular Field, in 1990. She then started her own firm,
Straighttalk, in Duncanville, Texas. |
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She
currently works as a mediator and management consultant
and is writing a second book, tentatively titled, "Bloodwork:
My Life Among White Folks," to be published next year.
It will cover the period when she first left for college
to the present. Her experiences at Lawrence will be a major
focus of the book, she said.
Singley,
56, was one of 11 black students who enrolled at Lawrence
in 1967, when the black population of in the city was virtually
nil. Incredibly,
the 1960 Census, taken seven years before Singley arrived
on campus, could only find one black person in the City
of Appleton.
According
to the 1970 U.S. Census, Appleton’s population
of 57,143 consisted of 280 "Negroes and other races," or
about 0.5% of the total. It is believed 45 of these residents
were of African-American ancestry, according to a reference
librarian the Oshkosh Public Library.
In
U.S. Census taken in 2000, Appleton’s population
of 70,087 was 91.5% white, 4.6% Asian, 2.5% Hispanic and
1% black. State, federal and local officials estimate that
the 2005 black population in Appleton is probably around
1,000.
Two
years ago, Singley wrote about her experiences in a book, "When Race Becomes Real: Black and White Writers
Confront Their Personal Histories," (Lawrence Hill Books,
$26.95), which she edited. The 335-page book included the
perspectives of 29 other authors of diverse backgrounds,
from Pulitzer Award-winning columnist Leonard Pitts to a
12-year-old sixth-grader from a middle school in Atlanta,
Ga.
Singley was invited to discuss the book by the Appleton
Public Library Foundation, the Fox Cities Rotary Multicultural
Center and the Community Foundation for the Fox Valley Region,
Inc. She took part in a book reading, panel discussion and
book signing.
Appearing with her on the panel were three other contributors
to the book, Robert Jensen, a journalism professor at the
University of Texas; Lucile Gibson, a longtime friend and
Appleton native who is now the owner of a patent drafting
firm in Madison and Ira Hadnot a journalist and publisher
currently working with the Dallas Morning News.
Jim
Lundstrom, a free-lance writer who wrote a highly acclaimed
profile of Singley’s book when it was first published
in 2002, served as panel moderator.
Prior
to coming to Appleton, Singley lived in racially segregated
Charlotte, N.C., with her mother, a domestic with a sixth-grade
education but a strong sense of self. "I
was many things that were not a cause for celebration – poor,
black, female and fatherless," she stated. "Even
so, I very early became a vessel into which my mother and
others poured their hopes and dreams."
After graduating from high school, she was heavily recruited
by many top schools, including Duke University, because many
colleges were eager to enroll promising black students. She
was persuaded to come to Appleton by Ed Wall, the then dean
of Admissions at Lawrence, and her high school principal,
Joseph Champion. Wall and Champion cooked up a scheme about
Lawrence being a school with such exacting high standards
that most students found it difficult to get in.
The
feisty Singley took this as a challenge. "Intoxicated
by my impending escape from the corset of Southern black
life, I couldn’t wait to strut my stuff among the know-nothing
white folks," she said. She applied and was admitted
with a full scholarship, work/study job and loan. But the
college made few other plans for her adjustment to this new
environment.
She
soon found herself "under siege" in a "sea
of whiteness" that left her feeling like a guinea pig
in a dysfunctional social experiment.
"I reported to Lawrence University, an outpost in
Appleton, Wisconsin, former hometown to at least two world-
famous circus acts, Houdini and Joseph McCarthy," Singley
wrote. "In so doing, I integrated not only a college
campus but the entire Fox River Valley."
One
thing that stood out above all was the way local residents
stared at her in shock and horror "as if I was a circus
freak," she said. She vividly recalls one day when she
left the campus to go to Conkey’s Book Store. "I’m
walking down the street and all of a sudden, I noticed that
traffic was virtually stopped and they were staring, staring
at me," she said. In one car, there was a child who
had his face pressed against the window and stuck his tongue
out at her.
The
loss of identity, coupled with a depressing social life,
led her to what she now describes as a "nervous
breakdown." She had friends, both black and white, including
Gibson, who attended Lawrence for one year.
But there were no parties, no dating and no fun activities.
No
one was openly hostile toward her, she said, except for
a couple of Lawrence professors whom she did not identify
but described as "cruel."
She said she was made to feel isolated and out of place.
Her
grades suffered. "I think I flunked something
every term," she said.
It
wasn’t that the classes were that difficult. She
just felt "completely stripped down emotionally, mentally
and academically." Some of the other black students
also felt the same way and didn’t have the resources
to rebuild themselves up, she said.
Her
worst year of all was the second term of her senior year.
She locked herself in her dormitory room and refused to
go outside for a whole month, except for a few late night
excursions to the library’s all-night reading room.
Two friends brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to
her room. She cried a lot.
Somehow,
she managed to gain the strength and fortitude to complete
the requirements for her bachelor’s degree.
She said she was so anxious to get out of town, she didn’t
even stick around for the commencement ceremony. She never
thought she would return.
She
changed her mind after Cece Wiltzius, a former community
services supervisor on the library staff, invited her to
come back and promote the book. She agreed, but said she
wanted to bring some "reinforcement" because
she wasn’t sure how she feel. Which is why
she invited Jensen, Gibson and Hadnot, all of whom read portions
of their own chapters and responded to questions from the
audience.
Following the presentations, Singley said she felt warmly
received by the small crowds that greeted her during the
two sessions at the Appleton library.
"I am glad I returned, I really am," she said. "I
feel that some healing took place here today."
For
comments or questions, contact boblowe@juno.com or
by phone at (920)-731-4603.
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